Rebel Dog In The Spotlight

The circumstances aren’t the greatest, but this is the happiest I’ve been in a really long time.

I like making him smile. I made his day today.

It felt great. :)

my standards are unrealistically high for how unattractive i am

Super excited, man.

foreverchangedbyyourlove:

Maybe she’d never find that romantic all-consuming, extraordinary love that everyone always searches for, but she was going to live. She didn’t plan on spending her whole life searching for love or someone to fulfill that place in her life, when she could be living. 

When you’re supposed to hang out with your friends and they decide they’re going to do an activity they know you don’t participate in.

My friends all decided we were going to swim today, but I don’t swim. Every single one of them knows that.

And instead of informing me of that plan BEFORE I left my house and wasted gas, they decided they were going to provide me with clothes and “surprise” me. Yeah, I thought surprises were supposed to be stuff people enjoy.

Whatever. When they left to go swim, I left to go home.

Whatever.

I didn’t really fancy hanging out with three couples as the only single person around anyway.

I miss him when he’s not at work.

This probably isn’t good.

He has it all together. He’s not insanely rich, but he’s comfortable.

He makes me want to hurry and get myself together too. He is so nice and he makes me laugh and every single part of me wants to work harder to be independent so that I can present myself as an equal partner instead of some twenty year old kid who barely pays one bill on her own while her family takes care of everything else.

I’m gonna use my school funds left over after buying books and my tax money to speed up paying off my car. Once that’s done, I can move in with Steph.

I’m being made full time on Monday and I’ll be clocking at least 35 hours a week plus I’ll be a full time student.

My raise kicks in after June 15th so that’ll be a little extra on my paycheck.

I might not be able to match all he has any time soon, but I can put myself in a position to show I have potential.

After I do, the rest is up to him.

I used to refuse to wear shorts no matter how hot it was because I was insecure about my legs. I eventually started wearing them but only if they went down to my knees.

Now, I own like six pair and only two stop at my knees.

I used to refuse to wear tanks and dresses with tank like sleeves because I hated my upper arms.

Now, tanks are all you really see me in during the summer.

I didn’t wear any footwear that showed off my toes, but I’m a huge flip flop person now.

I’ve still got some things I’m battling but I’ve come a long way.

I guess this is growing up and starting to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Stellar.

I am going to make a R2-D2 cupcake cake.

I’ve wanted to make one for almost a month, but graduation got in the way.

That madness is over and now I can get back to having fun.

So my friend that tried to withhold my tattoo design from me admitted to a mutual friend that she was wrong.

She’ll never say it to my face and that’s okay. At least she knows it was wrong. I can work with that.

So, my ZMS couldn’t really do anything since I’m not on schedule. The next day both of us work is Friday.

We’re going to personnel then to try and get everything solved.

Hopefully, I’ll finally be a full time associate by the end of the week.

It’s my off day but I’m going to my job after I have lunch with a friend so that I can get with ny ZMS about bumping me up to full time since I have been working full time hours since February.

I know he said we’d handle it on Monday to cover his butt I’m front of our assistant manager because he knew I was off today.

He’s about to learn that you don’t stand in between me and what I’ve worked hard for. I will be leaving as a full time employee or I’m going to our assistant manager on Wednesday which is my next scheduled work day.

dearoldlove:

I miss the most those hugs, the ones where it felt like your arms would somehow wrap around me twice. If only I could have felt safe about anything else besides those hugs.

Everything and everyone is getting on my last nerves.

I think I might head to bed soon just to get this day over with.

My best friend asked me why I wasn’t submitting my Oh, Sleeper tattoo to go in their Facebook album.

I told her it means too much to me for it to go up and for people to talk badly about it which is what seems to happen on most of those pictures. That is also what happened with my Color Morale tattoo and if I had known they would eventually out it up on Facebook, I wouldn’t have had my friend tweet them about it.

It’s mine and I love it and I don’t need to hear other people’s negative thoughts about it.

I didn’t even post it on ky Facebook because I don’t want to hear any negative comments from anyone on my friend’s list.

Some days, I wish I never would have moved back home. Those two hours between here and there were a huge difference.

I built a life and had an independence that I don’t have here. It wasn’t a perfect life, but it was mine and I loved it.

Those two years there allowed me to begin to grow into my own person on my own terms. I feel like moving back here has brought on a regression.

Sure, I’m doing more adult things. Working full time, school full time, and I’ve recently bought a car. Sure, I’m pursuing a degree in a field I adore instead of something I just like.

However, I feel stuck. I feel like I’m going through the motions and I hate it.

This town is killing me and I can’t escape it. It has the only culinary school I can afford near me.

So, I guess I’ll suffer until I can escape.

If I escape.

I’ll probably die old, lonely, and miserable in this stupid town.

I’m ready to live with my best friend and build my business.

I’m so over life here but I still have at least a year and a half here.

Lame.

Talking to him does absolutely nothing.

From now on, I’m going straight to the assistant manager on duty.

wtf what do 3/4 of my followers do because they sure don’t reblog or like my posts

seriously what do you guys do

are you waiting for something

what are you waiting for

Last time, it was 24 orders. This time, it’s 28.

I have to be at work at 5am.

Tomorrow is going to be crazy.