Rebel Dog In The Spotlight

adilene:

In an attempt to get to know you all better I answered as many questions as possible yesterday but since some of you guys still won’t come to my ask box….

I’M COMING TO YOURS!!! :P

I made plans to kill around this time of year and promised myself to make it to the end of the year to see if anything had changed.

Three years ago, my friend gave me a burnt copy of Oh, Sleeper’s cd, Son of the Morning.

Three years ago, Oh, Sleeper’s song, Reveries of Flight, changed my life and opened the door to a real relationship with God and healing from the insurmountable grief that I was drowning in after my mom’s death.

Three years later and my life is more amazing than I could ever have imagined.

I’m so thankful that I didn’t go through with my plans and that God found a way to reach me when nothing and no one else was getting through.

She’s drawing my Oh, Sleeper tattoo for me. We talked in detail about how we’re going to incorporate the words since there are a lot of them.

The idea I had has been changed up a little bit, but I’m so very much in love with the newer version.

I cannot wait until May when I’m reunited with my bestie and getting some Oh, Sleeper ink!

I feel so inadequate whenever I step into the kitchen at school. This is my dream and nothing has ever meant this much to me. I have never been more invested in something and, because of that, I have never been more afraid of failure.

It’s like I don’t want to touch anything because I don’t want to mess up, ya know? I don’t want to fail and have to live with knowing that the one thing I want to do most is something that I’m not capable of doing.

I was two semesters away from a Bacholer’s degree. I was an Administrative Assistant at a museum and my close friendship with the curator there would have given me connections whenever it was time for me to apply for internships involving the curating aspect of museums. I had a solid life plan and I gave all that up to pursue my dream of being a pastry chef.

I can’t fail. I just can’t.

Failing would mean that I walked away from a very promising and budding career to live in mediocrity.

I won’t accept that for my life. I just won’t.

Making tentative plans with my bestie for my visit in May.

I say tentative because we hardly ever stick to plans.

So far, it has been established that I will finally get to eat at a pub. Neither one of us can drink but since I can’t afford to go to Ireland, she’s going to take me to eat at a pub and watch live music.

Super exited for May!

ohemgeeitsrachelmarie:

It’s in my name and I paid for it all on my own.

I’m so proud of myself!

Missouri in May to see my best friend!

I’ll also be getting my Oh, Sleeper tattoo.

Stoked.

After spending 6 hours in the ER I’m looking forward to just laying around my house.

The nurse said the pill for my back will make me sleepy but the other two won’t.

Sleepland, here I come.

I came home early from work after throwing up twice after I clocked in.

I can’t even keep Sprite down and I’ve thrown up two more times since I’ve been home.

I hate being sick.

goldensomething:

Is your love really Love?
Is my love really Love?
I think our love isn’t Love,
Unless it’s Love to the end.

Is your god really God?
Is my god really God?
I think our god isn’t God,
If he fits inside our heads.

A girl from the deli was trying to help me get cupcakes ready for the SPI that they randomly decided to change even through I was the only cake decorator today. I appreciated it but she is so messy.

I didn’t mind that either as long as she stayed out of my work space. I went to break and when I came back, she’d migrated to my work space as well as hers AND she mixed a color that we already had. She was just too lazy to walk in the back and see if we had a bucket of it. She got icing all over my side of the floor area and she didn’t bother to clean it up.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO KEEP A CLEAN WORK STATION?!?!?!?

Don’t even get me started on how she doesn’t properly know how to fill a piping bag. How hard is it to roll the bag down so icing isn’t spilling out of the top? How about not filling the bag so much that you can’t properly squeeze icing out of it.

I understand that when decorating cakes, things are going to get dirty. Icing will inevitably end up in a place that will have you scratching your head and wondering just how it got there, but at least clean up after yourself.

And I feel kinda bad about being irritated when she was trying to help.

When it comes to my work station or whatever I’m decorating. Ihatewhenever someone just hops in and starts adding stuff to what I’m doing. I understand they’re trying to help and I’m too nice to tell them to leave my stuff alone.

Ugh. I spent most of the day irritated.

I made it through yesterday.

The gate to the cemetery was locked so I’m putting flowers on her grave today. I’m not sure what kind they are, but they’re purple. That was her favorite color. I meant to only buy one bundle, but I couldn’t help myself. I don’t ever want my Mother’s grave to look like no one visits or cares.

Today marks six years since my mother passed away. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and I hope that I’m making her proud of the person I am and the life I’m living.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated today, followers.